It's all in the attitude

A couple of days before vacation I was still in the very apprehensive mode about this whole taking a vacation "together" concept. I'm the first to admit that Bill and I are not your normal married couple. He does his thing, I do my things, we each do things with the kids and some things we do together. Vacation - not one of them. Never has been. Tried a weekend trip together once with Andi and Zac back in '93 -- not so good. I've avoided it ever since.

So it was quite a surprise to everyone when I announced several months ago that we were going on a family vacation. The six of us. It surprised me every time I said it. I started saving my 5 dollar bills and ended up with almost 1700 in just five months. I picked the destination and made sure it wasn't too far from home in case Billski needed to hitch a ride home. And I waited. And stewed about it. And wondered repeatedly what the heck I had gotten myself into. And WHY had I ever agreed to this madness. And what on earth possessed me to tell the kids about it?

Over the past 5 years I have taken Jacob, Carly, Wesley and Ryan to Mississippi, Pennsylvania, Virgina, Arkansas, South Carolina and a few other places - all for about a week at a time. I'm used to traveling with them. Bill was not.

The kids don't bother me in the car. I'm accustomed to a certain level of noise from them - generally about the decibels that a 747 pulls down, so anything below that and I'm good to go. Bill, however, hardly ever travels more than 15 miles with them in the car. He spends 2 hours a day alone in his truck driving back and forth to work. He's used to quiet and when he is in the car with the kids for a long period of time -- it's generally not a good thing.

I try so hard to keep them quiet that I end up irritated at him for upsetting our comfort level of noise, irritated at them for not being quiet and upsetting him and irritated at myself for getting irritated at them when they are just acting normal. It was a vicious cycle and we seldom went anywhere in the car together. And that worked fine for us.

I can't tell you how many times I heard, "It will be OK." or "You can do this." from different friends in the last few months. It was like my own little vacation support group. I would shake my head in agreement, while my mind was saying, "You're crazier than I am if you think this is going to be OK." I had numerous people praying that we could pull this off without any major problems. And more than a few bets going on as to whether we would both be in the van when it left the garage.

I planned this vacation carefully, making sure that there were things to do every day - yet not so much that anyone would be stressed. There would be time for relaxing and swimming every day. Time to just lay around and watch TV or play games. Time for everyone to have some space. But still I was apprehensive - till Thursday.

That's when my pal, Kristi dropped by to bring me my Adventure Girl costume. We were talking about vacations and she -- not knowing of my apprehension said, "Don't be like me. I never knew I had a good time till I heard Tammy talk about it."

Tammy is her sister and she went on to tell me about how they would go on vacations together as kids and when people would ask them about it, Kristi would be reporting all the negatives such as the hot weather, the long car ride, etc. When Tammy was asked the same questions, a whole different version of the events would come out and Kristi would be put into a completely new frame of mind upon hearing someone else's opinions of what they did.

I know God sent me that message through her that day. As we sat in my living room and I listened to her and took her words to heart, I realized I did not want my vacation to be like that. I didn't want to wait and hear the kids talking about the things we did in order to realize that I had a good time.

So I am in a motel room for a week with a group of people who have never traveled together before -- and I am going to have a great time.

Even though I am missing my family at home, I am determined to make wonderful memories with this tiny room FULL of people. And that -- is as it should be.