Homeschooling Multiple Ages

This post was about one of my days right after the first of the year, 2005 - it is a true story of a morning in the life of a homeschooler.

I get asked quite often how I homeschool all four little kids at once and I usually give a very believable answer about rotating stations consisting of books, puzzles, computer, games, etc. However, truthfully, not all days run smoothly. This is how our day began one recent morning. Put yourself in the mom's place and experience my world.

Awake late and feeling like your head is going to fall off your shoulders - which is what caused you to awake late...No wait, that wasn't it. It was the unbelievably loud music and screams coming from the living room. Lift your head (sorta) off the pillow and bellow for everyone to be quiet. Stumble to the bathroom 3 feet away to pee so that you can go check on the noise without making a puddle. Go check on the noise and find everyone dancing and singing to the states and capitals CD. Grunt at them when they tell you good morning.

Tell everyone to get their books and get ready for school while you shower (which you will start after breakfast) Somehow, in their Charlie Brown world, they translate that to BEGIN their school work.

Get in shower and turn the water on hot to try and clear your head. Hear a voice. Nearby. Peek out of the curtain to find 7 year old sitting on your toilet -- using it -- and reading his science book to you. Learn about the water cycle while you shower. Take an extra long shower, because 7 year old is concentrating on reading instead of doing his business. Eventually realize you have time to shave your legs because he is still reading. Start shaving.

While leaned over shaving, have 6 year old come into the bathroom (at which point 7 year old screams like a girl although he isn't and throws a towel over his lap). 6 year old has arrived to discuss blend sounds so she can do her phonics book. Try to distinguish between the pr and tr blend sounds being made by a child with a speech problem -- over the sound of water running and 7 year old reading aloud. Peek out, trying to read the page without your bifocals on, as water drips off your hair onto the page. See that she can do the next page without your help. Tell her to do the next page and you will go back and help her with the one she skipped in a few minutes. Watch -- though not in surprise -- as she turns around and runs to flop herself on your bed to wait for you.

Next, have 5 year old come in with his time and money book. 7 year old still on commode, 6 year old on bed and 5 year old has decided it is time to learn more than the hour and half hour marks. Guess it is a new year's resolution or something. While speaking very loudly to be heard over the water cycle and the 6 year old doing phonics on the bed, you try to explain that each number is worth five minutes. Not working. Water is starting to grow cold.

Here is where the older child helping the younger child comes into play that we have all heard so much about. 7 year old - still on the commode -- removes wall clock and putting aside his science book onto the sink, begins to explain time to the 5 year old, moving the clock hands to demonstrate 5 minute increments. After a few minutes -- or 50 depending on which clock you look at, the water is tepid and along comes another 5 year old to join your merry group.

He brings the cool new Logico learning system with him. The card he has in consists of an animal mixed up - the head of one animal and the body of another. His job - should he choose to do it in the bathroom - is to find the two animals that comprise this animal and mark them accordingly. Everyone rushes to help -- the 7 year old puts the clock back on the wall - somewhat crookedly because it is over his head and backwards, but up, nonetheless. By now, you have shaved everything but your head, thoroughly conditioned your hair, and scrubbed the tub walls clean. The water is cold and so are you . You are now ready to abandon this tiny one room schoolhouse for another room..........say, oh, I don't know -- the schoolroom? You tell everyone to leave. The 7 year old is still not done, so he hands you a towel in the shower and you wrap your body in the towel and get out.

You send everyone out of your bedroom back to the kitchen to wait for you. You put lotion on your feet -- almost -- before the 6 year old is back. She wants to rub the lotion in for you. Not wanting to start an argument - you agree. You get your socks on, put on your bra and panties just in time before the 5 year olds are back. One to show you his correct Logico page and the other to show you what page he is going to do in his math book....but first he wants to read to you. So he crawls up on the bed and begins to read - competing with the 7 year old who is now reading about plants and their need for water - of which you now have only cold. You send the 6 year old off - again - who quickly returns with a Bible story book which she pretends to read to you -- louder than the 5 year old and the 7 year old. You put on deodorant - which is always a show stopper, because everyone wants deodorant on. After deodorizing and powdering everyone, applying face cream to yourself and the 6 year old, you finally finish dressing. Tell the 7 year old to get done. NOW.

Then you decide to dry your hair -- not because it is part of your morning routine - but only to drown out the readers and have a moment of quiet. Almost. At this time, the doorbell rings. It is your pastor. Seriously. As you go to answer the door, you say a prayer of thanks that you are at least dressed - even if the kids have not been fed. Later, you say another prayer that they don't mention this in front of the pastor.

And that - on some days - is how we do it.