The kids don't speak much of Bill's suicide - or Bill for that matter. However, Jacob did come in the other day and declare,
"I will not be the third generation of Huddleston men to kill themselves."
Not that I had ever thought he would, but still, it was good to hear.
David, Jacob and I met with the funeral director today to make the arrangements for Bill. Bill's sister and brother met us there to sign the necessary paperwork to allow us to do that, since Jacob is still a minor.
This weekend we had a great time celebrating Gotcha Day. However, today has been horrible. There's really no other word for it. Bill came over yesterday to see the kids. He came in with several boxes of Girl Scout cookies to give them. He took the boys out for pizza and a movie. I met him at the theater when the movie was over. Carly and Wes went to youth group at our church across the street, while Jacob and I went to another movie.
Sometime after that, Bill went to his trailer, transferred his money from his savings account to mine, and then killed himself. He had brought all of his guns (or what I thought were all of his guns) to the house last weekend. He told me there had been several robberies around his house and he just wanted to store them at the house till he got a gun safe. Looking back, I just think he did not want them to be confiscated, as had happened to his dad's guns several years ago.
He was quite talkative last weekend. He was happy that he had received a payment for a patent he had gotten for Toyota. He ate lunch with us and then sat and watched TV with the boys for several hours, since Jacob did not feel like going out after just having his wisdom teeth removed.
And he left the boat keys here yesterday. I found them this morning and knew something was wrong. We were in the middle of a huge snowstorm and so I called the police in the county where Bill lived to go check on him.
Over the course of the next few hours there were several phone calls back and forth between myself and the police. But it was a call from the coroner who confirmed my suspicions. The police had found Bill's body in the yard barn.
I had to call his brother, since we aren't married and Jacob isn't 18 to make the arrangements. Bill had not spoken to his brother for several years. In fact, his family did not even know we were divorced. So there was a lot of information for him to try and process. A bit later, Bill's sister called and I went through the whole thing again. I believe they are going to call the coroner and have Bill's body released to us, once the autopsy is complete. That's what they said they would do, anyway. Bill wished to be cremated and we will respect those wishes.
The kids are all in a state of numbness. Everyone grieves differently and right now I think they are doing everything they can to avoid thinking about what has happened. I don't blame them one bit.
