Turkey shouldn't crunch

Last night after the kids went to bed, Zac, Andie and I were talking about our favorite Christmas movie. Mine is, without a doubt, A Christmas Story. If you've seen it, you know how it ends - with the turkey disaster. If you haven't seen it, well, you should.

Our smoker recipe book said an 18 pound turkey would take 10-12 hours, so it would stand to reason that a 20 pound turkey should take at least that long to cook. We put the turkey on last night at 9 and when I went to check on the progress this morning, I carefully lifted the lid so as to not let much of the heat escape and was greeted by..............................................

Obviously I didn't have to be so careful. I burst out laughing - some people might cry, but it's only a turkey and short of killing a fresh one, it's obvious we were not having turkey today, so might as well change plans. So I start thinking of how much pork roast we will need to go buy before church so I can get it in the crock pot. I decide to bring the turkey in to set on the counter because I will need solid proof of why we are having pork roast instead of the much anticipated turkey.

As I am transferring the turkey into the pan, it makes a distinct crunching sound. Must admit, I've never heard that sound out of anything I have cooked before. I carry it in and Jacob's first comment after the obvious is to ask why it has a nail sticking out of it. I explained that it was the timer and that is how we knew it was done. His look was priceless as he replied, "I can save them the trouble -- it's done!"


I noticed a crack in the armor of the
turkey and decided to investigate further. Imagine my surprise when upon peeling back the charbroiled skin, I found this: Could there be hope after all? Was it possible that the turkey could be saved? Or at least salvaged? I kept at my task until I had a huge pan of moist turkey.



So, it looks like Turkey Day is on again. The hardest part of cooking this turkey was getting the soot off of my hands. I wonder what firemen use?