Boymath

I remember as I was growing up there was much talk about "the NEW Math." I was never quite sure what it was, but I know what it should be. It should be called Boymath. One word. Boymath. I might even get credited for inventing a word finally. Yep, still bitter about snacktivity.

OK -- on to Boymath. Why is it that a boy -- any boy probably - will look at you with a blank stare when he reads this problem......... Sweet Sue had one kitten and Bouncy Betty had one dog. How many pets did they have together? HUH?

I suggest changing the problem to something along these lines:

Fourteen thousand six hundred ninety two Bionicles were hiding in the shrubs around a moat which was teeming with blue spotted octopi, the most deadly octopus in the world. One bite and a human would be dead in less than a minute. The Bionicles were busy setting up their weapons of mass destruction when from out of the moat they were surprised by an army of one million two hundred forty thousand six hundred and twelve red and yellow Power Rangers, who possessed the the power of being invincible to the bite of the deadly blue spotted octopi. Dang those Power Rangers.

A beautiful princess with long flowing hair happened to ride by at that moment on a headless horse who had wings but the mighty warriors were too busy to notice her and even if they did, they wouldn't have paid any attention to her because she's a girl. Even if they are on a headless horse, everybody knows girls are still yucky.

Not sure exactly what to do, the Bionicles called for reinforcements using their secret wrist decoder watch that they got for only $12.95 with fourteen box tops from Cocoa Puffs. Each box of cereal cost an unbelievable $4.56 per box. Immediately, from the sky, beamed down a force of four hundred twenty six thousand nine hundred and eleven Star Wars fighter jets.

How many Bionicles could fit on each jet if they were evenly divided? How many would be left to try to fight the Power Rangers? How many box tops would you need to save for every Bionicle to have a watch? How much would the Cocoa Puffs cost for them all to have a watch? How much could you save if you had a coupon which saved you 45 cents per box? Who do you think would end up buying all the Cocoa Puffs? If you were to throw Sweet Sue and Bouncy Betty into the moat, how long do you estimate it would take for the sting of the Blue Octopus to kill them?

I'm sure all the problems would be answered correctly. Not only that, I'm thinking I could use this lesson for spelling, too. Wesley just strolled by and told me I had Bionicles spelled wrong. Dang those Bionicles.