Explaining an absence
Today we are going to Big Splash Adventure. It should be a lot of fun and I will post pictures later. This weekend we are going to St. Louis and I posted some weeks ago why Ryan wouldn't be going along, but it seems another party has dropped out of our merry band.
About 10 days ago I got a text from Carly saying, "You need to call Mendy. I got in trouble for hitting a boy." Hmmmm. Mendy is the director of Studio Bee. Studio Bee is the youth community center where the kids hang out, have been to camp for years, where I volunteer, where Keegan goes to story time, where we go to our homeschool group and where all of the tip money from Bits & Pieces is donated to. Our family is involved there in many ways.
Before I called Mendy, I called the texter, Carly to get more details. She told me that a boy, whom I will call Innocent Dude, was annoying her and she hit him.
OK, not exactly what a mom wants to hear -- but on the surface it didn't seem all that horrible. So I call Mendy. She asked if Carly had told me what happened. I told her I had Carly's version of what happened (the past has taught me much about Carly) but I was sure I didn't have the whole story. Oh, little did I know how much of the story I didn't have.
Carly was in a room where Innocent Dude and his friend, Witness to the Incident were talking to each other -- not even bothering her. Innocent Dude was making a noise that Carly deemed annoying and she told him to shut up. I'm sure Innocent Dude must have thought, "You're not my mother." (which for the record, she's not) and continued making whatever noise it is that a 12 year old boy makes that makes a 13 year old girl think it's annoying.
Carly, using all her feminine wiles, told him to shut up. Again. Nice huh? Does a mother's heart good to hear how their kids act in public. He didn't, so Carly hit him. Now here's where the story took a BIG turn from what Carly told me happened.
True, she hit him. What she neglected to mention in either her text or our conversation was that she hit him.........with.........a.........chair. Yep. A chair. She picked up a chair, backed Innocent Dude into a corner and commenced to whacking him with a metal chair.
It was at this moment I found myself speechless. Something that doesn't happen often and in 28 years of motherhood, I could probably count the number of times on 2 fingers. Not hands - fingers.
I finally recovered enough to ask if Innocent Dude was OK and he was, but had multiple red welts up and down his arm -- something I'm sure would be considered defensive marks. I spoke with his mother later, a woman I will call "Far more understanding than I ever would have been" and she was very nice about the whole thing.
I was really just too dumbfounded to even think straight. The next day Bill and I went to lunch and he declared what would happen. Several things came into play in the thought that went into Carly's punishment. Wesley and Jacob were at this lunch too, so perhaps they learned from her mistakes as they listened to their dad.
First, Carly had lied to him. She told him that she had "sorta shoved" Innocent Boy and he hit the wall. About as far from the truth as you could go and stay on the same continent.
But more importantly, she had just turned 13 a mere 4 days before. The day BEFORE she turned 13, she told me she hoped she would be able to control herself when she was a teenager because "teenagers get out of control."
I told her that not all teenagers get out of control and if teenagers couldn't control themselves, then their parents could certainly do it for them. Obviously, she wanted to test that theory. Bad idea. Very bad idea.
So we all listened as Bill laid out her punishment. It was swift and severe and long lasting. She was grounded from seven different things and has the opportunity to regain one thing every 2 weeks - if she stays out of trouble.
So Carly is not going to St. Louis with us. This is probably a punishment as much for me as it is her, because she is such a good helper with the kids, but he was quite firm -- she will staying at home with him and Ryan.
Sometimes this whole motherhood gig is tough stuff.
