"The Best Christmas Gift I ever got in my whole life

is to be home with my family." That's what Ryan said when I showed up today to bring him home. After Bill took him back yesterday, I knew I did not have it in me or in my family to have him gone any longer. It seemed as if our entire house has been sinking into a depression without him. Sure, it was peaceful, but it wasn't as it was supposed to be. A part was missing and every time we had to take him back it got worse.

My friend, Debbie, asked Ryan what he wanted for Christmas Sunday at church. He was dead serious when he said he just wanted to be home. It just broke my heart.

When we got home today, he was showing me all the cards he had received. It was very touching to see so many from people who read my blog and friends from around the country. Thank you all so much for your continued prayers for Ryan.

Several things make this decision easy for me. Ryan was moved to a new dorm, where he is no longer the oldest, but the youngest in a dorm full of teenagers with mental problems. He has reported several episodes of being scared and almost being hit during altercations (as a bystander). He is no longer getting therapy with a psychiatrist daily, but only once a week. His medication seems to be at a very therapeutic level and lastly, when I went to pick him up Saturday morning something happened that was disturbing.

He came out to leave wearing a pajama shirt. I told his escort that we were going out to eat and shopping, so Ryan would need to have on street clothes. She takes him back to his room and lets him get a shirt. But not put it on. So I tell him to change it before we leave and she won't let him because that would mean unlocking a bathroom for him to use. So I ask where he's supposed to change his shirt and she tells me "Outside." Yep. It was all of 6 degrees, why wouldn't you strip down outside to change your clothes?

So, that, coupled with the Island of Misfit theme, which goes on despite my complaint helped us decide it was time to bring Ryan home. And yes, I did report the escort this morning before we left.

Merry Christmas to us.