We are that family

For the past 4 weeks in church, our pastor has been requesting prayer for a family who was going through a very difficult time with their child. Having to make some tough decisions and praying for guidance. We are that family and Ryan is the child.

Our life over the past month has just been an oxymoron of emotions. We opened our business and if the first two weeks are any indication, it is going to be a great success. Yet, every second of the day, in between talking with and serving customers, Ryan is on my mind. And my heart is breaking for him. I've no doubt greeted my share of customers with watery eyes

Ryan has made some extremely poor choices lately that will probably have long lasting effects on our family. Some that will definitely affect his future. For most of the past month, Ryan has been a patient at Deaconess Crosspointe, where he was last November for psychiatric treatment.

In addition to his diagnosis of Pervasive Personality Disorder, he has also been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder, In light of all that has happened, it is obvious that Ryan needs more help than what he is able to get locally or on an outpatient basis with weekly therapy.

At the doctor's recommendation, Ryan will be going to Gibault, a residential psychiatric treatment facility. He will live there for 3 - 6 months and hopefully, with their help and many prayers, learn the skills he needs to cope with life and be able to live at home.

Emotions are running high in our house right now. Carly is very angry toward her biological parents, because both of the disorders Ryan has are caused by early childhood neglect. She blames them for Ryan's problems. Everyone is mad at Ryan for what he has done and I actually came face to face with the age old question of "Mom, would you still love me no matter what I did?"

Yes, I still love him. He's my son. I will never understand why he did what he did, but even in the midst of this storm, I am able to thank God for Ryan. No matter what you are going through, if you look you can find a reason to praise God. My children are learning to be compassionate to those with mental illness. They are learning some really tough lessons on forgiveness and accountability.

So today, on my only day off from work, I am filling out a 15 page admission package to admit him to a residential psychiatric hospital. Then I am picking up my son from one short term psychiatric facility and driving him 2 hours away and leaving him in the hands of strangers. Yesterday, I went shopping for a list of things for him like he was going to summer camp. 6 pairs of white socks, 6 pairs of white briefs, 4 white T shirts and on and on. But it's not summer camp and Ryan is scared and anxious at the thought of going there.

I thank God for the many friends I have who have prayed for us during the past month. I thank God for the Holy Spirit who has done my praying for me many nights when I lay crying in my bed and no thoughts could form during my prayer time. (Romans 8: 26-27).

Our family has been torn apart, but the threads are strong and with God's help, I know we will be whole again some day. In the meantime, if you think of it, could you please pray for Ryan. Daily.