A two minute s*e*x talk that felt like two years

As we came home from our Thanksgiving dinner outing last night, Ryan heard me on the phone last night talking to one of my PEERS kids. About s*e*x. That is how he would talk about it. S*E*X. Not say it - only spell it.

He started off like this.

"That is 2 times today I have heard you say s*e*x. What is up with you? Are you crazy?"

I assured him that I was feeling quite sane at the moment at least and told him I was talking to the kids about what we were teaching in school that day to the kids at the junior high.

"YOU TEACH KIDS HOW TO DO S*E*X!!!!"

"No, Ryan, we talk to kids about what could happen to them if they choose to have sex."

"You don't "have" s*e*x --- you do it."

"Well, OK, if that's ther term you want to use today, we'll go with it." I thought and before I got a chance to say anything else, this little diddy came out.

"I'm never getting married if I have to do s*e*x. I want to adopt kids. You don't do s*e*x*, do you, mom?"

"Well, adopted kids are some of my favorite kids in the world, but how do you think Jacob got to be here if daddy and I didn't do sex?"

Imagine huge wretching sound in the dark beside me.

"Well, I'm just going to tell my wife, NO, before we ever get married and I'm not doing s*e*x."

"Well, Ryan, your wife might not think that's such a good idea. Besides, it says in the Bible that you are to have sex with the person you're married to -- but NOT before that."

"It says it in the Bible?"

"Yes, indeed."

"What was God thinking when he thought up that? That's just gross."

"Ryan, if people didn't have sex..."

"You mean do s*e*x?"

"Right, if people didn't do sex, then there wouldn't be any babies and if there weren't any babies, then everyone would just die and there wouldn't be more people."

"I think God should have made people be born differently than to have to do s*e*x."

"Well, that's your opinion. But he didn't and the Bible says we are to multiply."

"Well,, I already know how to multiply, so I don't have to ever do s*e*x. Thank goodness."

And then, thank goodness, we were home.