In a nutshell

here's life at our house. First, as your homeschool lesson for the day, nutshells themselves were first used as metaphors for something very small back in 1602, when Shakespeare had Hamlet declare, "O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count my selfe a King of infinite space." The above sentence is the only Shakespeare I have ever read in my entire life. I had suspected it would bore me to tears and now, I'm sure it would.

But back to us and the present date. Bill and I celebrated another wedding anniversary yesterday. We are wild people when it comes to celebrating. No gifts, no cards, but we did have breakfast together and worked on a jigsaw puzzle before he left for work.

I finally got a copy of the book where my little story about a homeschooling mom was published. It was cool to see my name as the author. The kids looked at me with something resembling awe for about 6 minutes. So even though, I may not be as famous as Shakespeare, my story didn't end tragically.

Wes got new glasses because his latest new ones didn't last any longer than the ones before that. This would be his third pair this year in case you're keeping count - I know our insurance company sure is. They are right on top of it.

I worked all weekend and Bill worked on his dad's house, repairing the damage that was done during clean-up. I've never dealt with the aftermath of the suicide of a family member but when you hire a cleaning company, they "clean" by removal. They take out the ceiling, the walls, the trim, the carpet, the subfloor -- everything -- and they charge many thousands dollars to do it. You are left looking at studs and rafters. Bill is now finished and the place is ready to sell.

The strife with his family continues and his sisters remind me of little kids who live to tattle on each other. I refuse to even answer the phone because I am not going to be dragged into that mess.

I got the kids signed up for swimming lessons and those, along with the Bee Healthy Boot Camp all start next week. This year, swim lessons are in the late afternoon, so they don't have to miss any of camp to go. I got the schedule for their camp field trips and they should have a blast. Bowling, skating, hiking, swimming, ballgames and lots more will keep them busy.

School continues for us and I am satisfied with their progress. Carly and Wes will finish their fourth grade reading today and started their fifth grade math yesterday. They would be entering 4th grade in the fall if they were in public school. Jacob remains about a year ahead in most things and Ryan, since he started his Ritalin, is catching up by leaps and bounds. Ritalin, when used correctly is a wonder drug.

I'm going to a chiropractor today. I guess when I did whatever I did to my knee during the winter, I also pinched my sciatic nerve. It has been hurting since then - that very recognizable burning down the entire length of your leg. The burn that starts in your butt cheek, so it's not like you can stand around massaging it to try and make it feel better. Because really, you can't stand around - it hurts to stand too long....and it hurts to sit too long and it hurts to walk much. Something's gotta give and months of anti-inflammatory drugs have not helped.

I'm going on a 3 day getaway with Andi, my mom, my sister in law, Keegan and Sophie in a few weeks -- emphasising the urgency of my need to be able to sit long, stand much and walk lots. We are going to St. Louis and hang out.

I have made an appointment with a doctor to take Wesley and see what we can do to alleviate some of his anxieties. I'm sure we would all like that, but nobody more than Wes-man. I think he would enjoy his childhood so much more if he wasn't afraid and worried about everything.

Andi and I watched House last night on Fancast and I watched a very old Dick Van Dyke show. Andi is doing pretty good with Jacob being gone and I know it is partly because people are praying for her.

Although Carly was going to be the one to go to summer camp, that has changed and she will be at home, close to her parents. Wesley and Ryan will both be going, however, and they are very excited about it. Carly has pretty much quit her chronic lying, however, she has taken up a habit that could be far more dangerous - doing whatever the heck she wants.

Carly has boundary issues -- both personal and now it appears geographically as well. When she first came to live with us we were told she displayed signs of Reactive Attachment Disorder. Having had a foster child who definitely had RAD live with us for 2 years, I do not think she has RAD, however, she did and still does have one of the main symptoms - indiscriminate sociability, such as excessive familiarity with strangers.

RAD arises from a failure to form normal attachments to primary caregivers in early childhood. Such a failure could result from severe early experiences of neglect, abuse, abrupt separation from caregivers between the ages of six months and three years, frequent change of caregivers, or a lack of caregiver responsiveness to a child's communicative efforts.

Carly will be your "best friend" and if she meets someone else 10 minutes later she is their "best friend" - even if she doesn't even know their name. A recent example would be when I took the kids from the group home to church with me 2 weeks ago. Carly was sitting next to one of them, holding her hand, snuggled up and leaning on her shoulder, the way you might be with your grandpa. Carly had never seen this girl before that day.

When she first came to live with us, we had to work for months teaching her to not hug every person she came across. She would just as soon go off with a total stranger as anyone. She didn't associate any difference.

A couple of months ago we quit allowing her to go to the park a few blocks away because she refused to obey us when we told her multiple times she was not allowed to join in the basketball games that teenage boys and young men would be playing. She would come home telling us how she played ball with her friends, John and Jeff -- who would be 20 and 24. Names and ages can be replaced with others. So going to the park was no longer an option for her unless Bill or I were with her.

Which left playing in our yard. However, Sunday, Bill was driving down the street and saw Carly 2 blocks from home. As far as he knew, she was reading a book on the front porch but when he asked her what she was doing, she was going door to door to try to sell her book. She had gotten done reading it, so she just thought she would wander around and sell it. She had already been to over 10 houses.

In the past, I have tried in as many ways as I knew how, without being graphic to explain to Carly why she couldn't just go talk to strangers. This behavior though could have ended so badly that after I calmed down some, I sent the boys out of the room and got graphic - complete with pictures. Did you know that statistically every 24 minutes in America a girl under the age of 12 is sexually assaulted?

I pulled up the sexual offender list in our small town and showed her their faces - some normal looking young men she would have no doubt played ball with - and told her in detail what they had done to little children. I asked her what she would have done if somebody had just grabbed her and pulled her into their house. She said she would scream.

I quickly slapped my hand over her mouth and told her to scream as loud as she could. Of course she couldn't be heard and as I told her to scream louder and louder, I think it might have sunk in that I would not be hearing her scream from 2 blocks away. But we will not be taking any chances any time soon. I have a beautiful, smart, overly friendly daughter whose brain doesn't work exactly right. I want to keep her as safe as I can so Carly will be in the house unless accompanied by an adult.

Frankly, since I know this behavior can be traced back to the way she was neglected as a baby, it makes it hard to be angry at her, but if I could be in a room with her biological mother, you can bet I'd have something to say to that woman.

What started out as a nutshell post has probably turned into one of my longest posts ever. But this is about my life in bits and pieces and today it turned into a big ol' chunk indeed.