Myra - remembering my friend

I first met Myra when Andi and Zac were 3 years old. From the first day I met her, I knew we would be life long friends. I had 2 small children and she had 2 young daughters of her own. She had been a pipe fitter prior to meeting and marrying her husband, John. After her kids were born, she stayed at home with them.

From the beginning, we, along with our friend Terri, who also had 2 children in the same age group were inseparable. We would spend our days at New Harmony State Park, playing with the kids, picnicking and just enjoying our lives.

The three of us spent many, many hours together over the years. Working on church projects, teaching VBS and Mission Friends, helping with our kids at preschool and in elementary school, sitting around our kitchen tables or drinking tea on the front porch while the kids played.

Myra always made me the same birthday dinner every year; fried chicken, mashed potatoes and corn she had frozen from her summer garden. It was so delicious it made getting older a breeze. She always followed it up with her wonderful snickerdoodle cookies.

After a few years, the kids and I moved away from our little town. Myra, Terri and I remained close and every time I called her I could always count on her telling me, "I prayed for you this morning at 5:30." Every time. Some days I would call her JUST to hear her tell me that. It's very reassuring to know someone prays for you every day of their life.

Myra was, without a doubt, the most awesome Christian I ever had the honor of knowing. She had the respect of everyone who knew her and was loved by so many people. To have been counted as one of her best friends was an honor like no other I've ever had.


She was quiet in her spirit, but bold about her love for God. Her car had a sunroof, that she referred to as her "hallelujah window" because she would have that thing open and have her hand raised to heaven, praising God while she drove.

In the beginning of 2001, Myra was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a very aggressive cancer which is almost always caused by previous exposure to asbestos, which she had been around as a pipefitter. After diagnosis of this type of cancer few people live past one year.

Psalms 112: 6-7

Surely he will never be shaken;

a righteous man will be remembered forever.

He will have no fear of bad news;

his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

Shortly after her diagnosis, John became a Christian. Myra had been praying for John's salvation daily since she had become a Christian a few months after their marriage. She told me that if it took her dying to get John to accept Jesus, then that was what she was willing to do. And she meant that. Greater love has no man than he be willing to lay down his life.

During March of that year, Andi, Big Guy, his mom and I took a 12 day trip to Colorado and New Mexico. During this time, Myra was at the Mayo Clinic and as much as I enjoyed my time with Andi, my heart was torn in two as I wanted to be with Myra also.

While on vacation, Andi and I walked across the Royal Gorge Suspension Bridge, the world's highest suspension bridge. I do not like heights and upon getting across and riding a cable car back, Andi bought me this polished stone with the words, "NO FEAR" on it. When I got home, I promptly mailed it to Myra.

That's how she faced this deadly cancer - without fear and with the absolute certainty that God was in control of her future, no matter what that might be.

Myra spent a lot of time in the hospital locally as well and I became her personal helper. I would do her nails, shave her legs, wash and cut her hair for her. I stayed with her at the hospital while our little community had a fund raiser for her and raised over $21,000 in one night to help pay medical bills.

God was gracious and Myra's cancer went into remission and for a few months, she felt great. On Labor Day weekend, the kids and I were camping when she called, asking me to come to her house. I went right away and Terri arrived shortly afterwards. We went for a walk in the woods and she told us that she was sure her cancer was back, but she hadn't told anyone in her family because it had been such a great summer for them.

She was right. It was confirmed two days later that it was back worse than ever. Myra opted to do no more treatments and over the next few weeks, Terri and I spent our time helping Myra get her affairs in order and planning her funeral. We cried of course, but Myra, weak as she was, seemed strong enough for all of us. We had no idea that the end would come so quickly.

She dictated letters which I wrote out to her daughters to be given to them around special occasions such as their graduations, marriages and their children being born -- all things she would miss.

I had a dream on September 21st, a vivid dream of Myra running toward Jesus as he opened his arms to her. As He wrapped his arms around her, He said, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." I woke up feeling peaceful and knowing that her time on earth was almost done.

I left Myra's on the evening of September 24th, certain I would never see her alive this side of heaven again. We left nothing unsaid. She knew how much I loved her. I called the next morning and she was barely hanging on. I asked Terri to wake her one more time for me to tell her I loved her and would see her in heaven someday. That afternoon, I had the feeling that she was gone and I dialed her number and John answered. As soon as we started talking, someone yelled his name - loudly.

He called back within minutes to confirm what I already knew. Myra had just died and in her hand she clutched the No Fear stone. John asked that Terri and I be honorary pallbearers and that we speak at her funeral. We both agreed.

Her funeral was held a few days later in a church overflowing with people who normally would never come to church. Among them was my ex-husband, who hadn't been in church in over 10 years. As I stood up to speak, I looked out over the many people and met his eyes. He was sitting with Andi and Big Guy and he was bawling over the passing of one of "the finest women" he had ever known.

Myra's sister, another person who avoided church, ended up giving her life to God at her service - something Myra had been praying for years to happen. Even in her death, Myra had brought another soul to God.

I read a poem at her funeral. It was one that she had emailed me and I had saved it. When I printed it out from my computer, I noticed the date she had emailed it. September 25, 2000 - one year to the day before she died. Before she had even known she was sick. She had sent me this poem, along with a note about how much she liked it. I'm sure God prompted her to send it and for me to keep it.

The poem is called

"When Tomorrow Starts Without Me"

When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
All filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life , I'd always thought
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.

If I could just relive today,
Just even for awhile,
I'd say 'goodbye' and kiss you,
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories
Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked though Heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,

He said,
"This is eternity, and all I've promised you".
Today for life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same day,
There's no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times, You did some things,
You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven,
And now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand,
And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, inside your heart.

Shortly after Myra's death, her youngest daughter came to live with us for awhile. She was still grieving so much for her mom and it was very hard for her to see Andi and I together, doing things she wanted to do with Myra. She missed her dad and after a few months, she moved back home.

Myra's daughters have since graduated from school. One has married and has a daughter of her own, baby Myra, named after a woman who would have been an awesome grandma. I'm sure we would be swapping stories on a regular basis.

Today, in my box of treasures, I have a jewelry box I originally gave her. It is filled with flowers from her funeral and half of a "best friends" necklace. The other half was buried with her. I have her handwritten recipe for Snickerdoodles. I have numerous cards and letters that she wrote to me over the years and I have many wonderful memories of our time together.
I also have the NO FEAR rock, which John returned to me shortly after her death.

Although it's now been 6 years since Myra went to be with God, I still miss her. I miss her laughter, I miss her friendship and I will always miss hearing that precious voice telling me, "I prayed for you today at 5:30."

Till we meet again, my friend, I love you.