Mother's Day 2005 - mixed emotions

I probably got only 8 hours and 55 minutes of sleep in actuality last night because for the first few minutes I began my nightly prayer time. But I fell asleep before I was done. I began by praying for all of my friends - new and old, who have lost children during the past year.

I know Mother's Day is a hard day for them. And I pray for the birthmothers of my adopted children. I always wonder how they spend mother's day. Do they have a day filled with regret? Do they not even notice that it is mother's day? Whatever their emotions, I pray for them and thank God that they made the choice that they did.

Carly and Ryan's mother simply did not want them anymore. She did not want to be a mother. She called the Department of Children and Family and just told the woman who answered the phone she didn't want them and someone needed to come get her kids. A caseworker went to the motel where she was living and before she could even get to the door to talk to the mom -- the mom was opening the side door of the van, pushed the kids into it and asked what did she need to sign to give her kids away. And that was basically the end of her life as a mother. Now as harsh as that sounds - I respect that decision. I admire her for having the courage to do what was right for her kids. She could have chosen a different path. She could have kept those kids and continued to neglect them. She could have abused them. She could have kept them just for the money they brought into her home. She had many options. She could have killed them. It happens every day. So yes, to the large majority of us - to just "give away" your kids seems unthinkable. But when faced with the other options she had - she made a wonderful choice. I thank her for it. I pray for her today - that she doesn't live with regret. That she has been able to find a way to make a life for herself.

And I pray all my friends who have lost children are able to enjoy their living children today secure in the knowledge that we will be reunited someday with those who have gone on before us.