I thought I wanted to learn to roller skate

Beacause it’s just something I’ve never been able to do.  So I ordered some beautiful blue skates.  And waited...

My skates arrived today! I picked Sophie up from school and brought her home with me as my designated person to dial 911.

I asked her, “What if I break a bone?”  She replied, “ I call mom, she takes you to the hospital, you get a cast, you heal, you try again.”

Oh to be young and fearless.  So we opened the box.  They lay there, glorious in all their majestic packaging.

“They smell like adventure.” I said.  Sophie retorted, “Adventure smells weird.”  She had a point. They did smell weird.

We loosen the laces and I jam my extra wide foot into a skate intended for a Chinese woman who lived with her feet bound.  Not to worry.  

Adrenaline had set in.  I put the conversation I had with Jacob yesterday out of my mind.  I told him I was going to learn to skate. “Oh, I know.  I’ve heard all about it.  Sherie, Wayne, Misty and about three other people have stopped me at work to tell me you’re crazy and I should stop you. (Gotta love life in a small town)

I tried not to think about the fact that yesterday I tripped coming up my front steps from getting the mail and as I laid on the soggy porch carpet, surrounded by the wet newspaper and assorted mail, I debated in my mind, “Is this a warning or training?” Which was it?  I was undecided.  

I get up off my bench, notice how much further the floor seems from my normal height and head for the hallway. I have the security of walls on both sides and a gallery of dozens of pictures of my family, silently cheering me on.  

Sophie, stands at the end of the hallway, like a proud momma watching her baby take their first steps.  I make a few trips up and down the hall and on the last one, as I come toward her, I see her shiny smile turn to a look of terror as I am teetering toward her at .00003 mph.  

She catches me and we hug for much longer than necessary.  I go back to the bench, remove my skin tight skates, walk to my desk and print a return label to Amazon.

Roller skating will now go onto the list of things I will not accomplish in this lifetime.  Skating and crocheting-never gonna learn either.  I can live with it.

Now, I just need to learn to walk up the front steps.