Goodbye to the crappiest year of my life

I'm a roll with the flow, let it go, kind of gal. But this year has had more than the usual share of suckiness and I will be glad to start a new one.  Hopefully, it will be better.

In just 2 days it will have been a year since I've seen or talked to Ryan. I got his latest update from the facility he is at last week.  Not much has changed there.

"Ryan's grandmother reports that his argumentative behavior is still a problem in the home and that Ryan becomes too easily irritated." (He goes for weekend visits)

"Ryan really needs to work on asking permission before doing something."

"Ryan has increasingly been engaging in negative behaviors, arguing with staff and peers and being disrespectful to peers by making fun of them and calling them names. Ryan has been increasingly defying staff rules."

"Ryan's grandmother reports having a difficult time being an authority figure for Ryan and wanting to give into all of his demands."

Ryan is scheduled to be released to his grandmother in January.  Of course so far he has been scheduled to be released in October, November and December, but his behaviors have prevented that.  So I suppose we shall see.

It's been a very hard year in some ways.  Going from the "good" side of the law as a foster parent and CASA of the year to being charged with child abandonment and neglect from not allowing Ryan to stay in our home. 

I had the kids write a short (half page) paper on the changes we been through this year. After reading them, even though I've been on trial and had my reputation challenged, I have come out of the year, firm that my decisions I made for the best interest of my family, were indeed the right ones. 

They each touched on both Bill and Ryan being gone. Wesley wrote the least, but made his thoughts quite clear. "The effect of Ryan and Dad leaving on me was good.  No one fights and life is better now."

Jacob likes to be more philosophical in his approach. "One whole year - one may assume you will have ups and downs, such as us throwing Ryan and Bill out is a up, however the events that led up to it are in fact a very low, low.  All in all this year was regrettable, but good.  I would not want to relive or have anyone relive what we went through, but it's for the best in the end."

Carly is always the writer in the family.  She has no problem filling up page after page when she writes.  "It starts with Mom and Bill getting a divorce. A good and bad thing in some cases. Good for the family and bad because mom started working. In my opinion, the things that happened drew us closer as a family. Ryan was removed from our household and was never to be seen again. Good, because our family didn't have to be scared of Ryan or deal with his crap anymore. Also, Sophie and Keegan were safe from his stupidity."

She finished with "So, yes we've had our ups and downs this year, but we became a happier family and honesty I think that's all that matters.  That we're happy, even with all the changes that happened in 2013."

So I shall finish the blog this year with the same thought.

My kids are safe. They are happy. We are closer.  Life is better.  God is good.