4 month update

Yesterday marked 4 months since I had Ryan removed from the house.  I live each day without regretting that decision even once. Our house is different.  Peace has taken the place of anger.  Laughter has replaced yelling. Calm is the order of the day instead of chaos.  And fear has left the building. His victims are slowly recovering through lots of therapy and love.

But even from 3 hours away, Ryan continues to cause disruption in our home. A few weeks ago I got a call from Child Protection Services about a report (which was easy to determine came from Ryan) that they needed to investigate. Among the many allegations was one that my children were never allowed to leave the house. Their rooms actually. But that they could not socialize with children or adults. Ever.  They were prisoners.  All locked in their rooms 24/7.  They all wanted to go to public school.  They were all beaten every time they did anything wrong.  And on and on and on.

So the kids had to all be interviewed yet again.  Carly was quick to point out that when the woman stopped by earlier in the day (before she called me when  I wasn't home), that Carly answered the door.  Which would have been hard for her to do if she was locked in her room. Then she started naming all of the times she's out of the house on a weekly basis - and there were many.  She took the woman down the hallway to her "prison" and pointed out that her bedroom door does lock - from the inside.  Then she told her that she hadn't locked it though, since Ryan left.  And her punishment when she did something wrong was being grounded from the phone - not getting beaten.

Lastly, when questioned about going to school, Carly said, "I sleep till 9, do school in my pajama's, am done in a few hours, don't have homework at night - why would I want to go to public school?  For that matter, why would anyone?"

The report was unsubstantiated, but it is just a hassle to have to deal with this type of crap, instead of just enjoying our lives.

And of course at about the same time Ryan was removed, Bill moved out.  So how do I know all this is from Ryan's departure?  I don't.  But I think it's safe to say at least 75% of it is.   Bill was so checked out from our family that he slept, worked, watched TV and that was about the extent of his life, unless he was gone fishing.  There is less griping about the kids. That has gone down about 95% and everyone is much happier that he is gone.

I will be glad once I get through all of the court stuff that comes along with having your child removed from your custody - but even with all of that going on, I know I made the right decision.  Every day is a reaffirmation of that.