If your house is like mine, you get something along these lines every night at bedtime ....Mom, before I go to bed

I just remembered I saw some soap scum buildup on your shower. I'll go take care of that right now. I won't be able to sleep knowing it's there.

I thought I would just go out and check the yard for dog poop. Please pass my rubber boots and a magnifying glass.

I couldn't help but notice that one of the receptacles in your bedroom appeared to not be working. I'll just google how to change that out for you and do that real quick.

I think I should learn the Dutch alphabet. You just never know when that might come in handy. We might get a foreign exchange student. Tomorrow. Have you applied yet?

I was thinking that maybe you didn't file your homestead exemption from 1989. I'll need to see your tax return from that year. I'll wait.

I just realized that the lady at Macy's sprayed me with Ralph Lauren and I clearly requested Nautica. I need to call customer service. Now.

Did you know we haven't had a census of the aphids in our back yard since 1982. I'll be needing a pen and a legal pad. This is gonna take awhile.

I just don't know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. The world needs to know and I'm the one to tell them.

I think the timing belt on the van needs adjusting. I'm gonna need you to run to Auto Zone real quick. I'll watch TV while you're gone.

I saw something on Discovery Channel about how you can shine a light through eggs and look for babies. I'm gonna need a flashlight. But first, I'm gonna have to find fresh batteries. I'll be taking all the toys apart to try to find some that still work.

I've been thinking about trying out a new recipe. Do we have a souffle dish handy?

I'm worried about the miniature horse population in Boonville. I'm gonna call Animal Control for some information. Think they're open? Never mind. I have their home number. Pass the phone, please.

It occurred to me that the first 42 times I passed through to hug and kiss you goodnight might not have registered with you. Here's one more for the road.

Where does the term "one for the road" come from? Let's look that up now, shall we?

Do you count the points in the bagel as a small bagel or a large bagel? What's the difference in size? I'll look that up now so we can be sure of what to do in the future.

Did you ever notice that the lion in The Care Bear sounds like he's been on a drinking binge?

I had a hard time at math today. I think I need some extra practice writing my multiplication tables. I don't mind doing that now. I'll be at the kitchen table if you need me.

I forgot to do my treatment. I think I sound wheezy. (try hard to sound wheezy) Do you think I sound wheezy? Wheezy rhymes with breezy, Mom.

Have you checked the weather forecast for tonight? Is it supposed to rain? Sleet? Snow? Hail? Is there supposed to be a tornado? A flash flood? An avalanche? A drought? Are we currently in the path of any hurricanes? Have you made a donation to the Red Cross Disaster Relief fund? Did you get a receipt? Is it tax deductible?