"How's your dad doing?"

Well, since I've gotten this question a lot in the past week, I'll tell you. Not so good. The last few days have gone something like this....

Friday morning I got a call that he had fallen. I immediately went to check on him and stayed awhile. As I was leaving, he said, "If you leave this room, I'm going to kill myself. I have a plan and I am not going to let this disease kill me." Needless to say, I didn't leave the room. Without him. That happened around noon and we left by ambulance to go to a hospital in Evansville to have him mentally evaluated. He was also convinced that there were people who were trying to kill him and there was no talking him out of that delusion.

So instead of being home playing with the kids and packing them for their vacation, I spent the rest of the day and a good portion of the night in the ER, calling home frequently as I told the kids what to pack. We got back to the nursing home about 2 in the morning.

Saturday - you would have thought he was 20 years old. He was in a great mood, walking everywhere, eating, laughing, joking, playing with Sophie and Keegan. He probably walked close to a mile with no help whatsoever.

Sunday -- he was gone again. Mentally, anyway. He didn't respond to anything all day long and just sort of did a chant -- loudly. I was able to get him to at least change that to singing when I turned on an old gospel music CD.

Today, I visited this morning and was met with the news that "they wanted to talk to me." I knew what this meant even before I walked down the hall to meet with "them." Dad had taken a swing at a nurse and had to be moved to a different wing. I understand it - I just wish it didn't happen. He was not able to walk at all today. He had totally forgotten how.

Now, instead of the newly remodeled, wonderful, home-like environment with the enclosed courtyard and the lovely dining tables, he is in the old, yukky, "behavior" unit. His room is white concrete walls and it is depressing that the reason I chose this facility for him is no longer an option at this point.

Truth be told, I would like nothing better than to go lay in my bed and cry until there were no more tears in my body. Besides doing no good though, all that does for me is make my eyes burn and my nose stop up.

So I will continue to trust that God is in control of this situation as I hopefully make the best decisions for dad.